• me: can i go to the bathroom?
  • teacher: what for?
  • me: TO OPEN THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS what do you fucking think for

(Source: aabey14, via forever-a-memory)

"Because this is my life. And that’s the only explanation you will ever need."

— (via coyotegold)

(Source: dayzea, via transcending-in-darkness)

notlostonanadventure:

bewbin:

if u were dating a FBI agent and you dumped him.

he would be ur fed ex 

I hope the NSA people scanning my blog got a chuckle out of that

(via liberalsouthernbelle)

this-is-why-we-need-sex-ed:

We need sex ed because my own mother genuinely believes that if you don’t “deal” with your partner’s erection, it harms them and won’t go away until you do it.

- anonymous

cyanblur:

i remember one time the simpsons made a joke about fox news and they got so insulted they tried to sue them but the court was like “this aired on ur network u can’t sue urself”

(via princess-flowers)