madamisahumourist:

iburisu:

dang girl are you my appendix because I don’t understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out

That is quite possibly the weirdest and most carefully thought out pickup line I’ve ever read. I applaud you.

(Source: 40ozbaka, via forever-a-memory)

6ood:

My dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow

(via forever-a-memory)

usmc-freedom-aint-free:

seastarree:

unamusedsloth:

These kids are going places, maybe not college but places…

Every time I see this its in the middle of the night and I’m trying not to laugh so hard so I don’t wake up my boyfriend

This SaaS continues into college because you’re not graded on conduct

(via forever-a-memory)

zbrexx:

zbrexx:

how did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

he gave her a ring image

(Source: unrellevahnt, via murder-with-a-side-of-fries)

illaminati:

"maybe you shouldnt eat all of tha-"

image

(via murder-with-a-side-of-fries)

parksandrecthings:

THE GREATEST LESLIE LINE

(Source: aubreyplza, via murder-with-a-side-of-fries)